How to prevent teenagers from sexting and protect them from other teens who do

This post has been modified to reflect new information since its original publication.

With the ubiquity of ever more powerful smartphones, sexting has become an increasing concern for the parents of teenagers and preteens. In fact, nearly 40% of teenagers received sexts in 2023.

This article describes how you can protect your child from the dangers of sexting, an activity that can have a long-term, devastating impact on your child, regardless of whether he or she is the one taking photos.

What is sexting?

Sexting refers to sending or sharing nude or near-nude pictures, usually via a mobile phone.

This can also be videos that show nudity or sexual acts, as well as getting or sending texts involving sexual requests.

Most experts distinguish between sending naked photos, an activity with serious privacy, health, and legal implications, and simply sending suggestive text messages, which can be less harmful.

Understand why teenagers engage in sexting

Approximately 26.5% of teenagers reported having sent a sext. This number is alarmingly high given the risks involved.

Some of the reasons teenagers send sexually explicit photos include:

• Peer pressure or cyberbullying
• Self-esteem issues
• Rebelliousness, or the sense that they should be allowed to make their own decisions
• As a romantic gesture
• Because it feels naughty, liberating, and/or grown-up
• As a sexual favor in exchange for other services

Below are some other statistics useful in developing a more complete picture of sexting in teens’ lives:

• 40% of teens have taken part in sexting activity.

• About 8.5% of American females between the ages of 12 and 17 have said they have sexted with their boyfriend or girlfriend.

• About 12.7% of American males between the ages of 12 and 17 reveal they also sext with their boyfriend or girlfriend.

• Between October 2021 and March 2023, there were more than 13,000 reports of financial sextortion (extortion involving sexting) of minors, according to the FBI and the Department of Homeland Security.

As you can see, the reasons and motivations for sexting are varied and complicated. The simple knowledge that sexting is dangerous is not always enough to prevent teens from doing it.

Perception vs. reality: How teens think about sexting

Teens may be less concerned with online reputation and privacy than adults, but that doesn’t mean they’re unaware of the implications of sexting.

In fact, teens are fairly well educated about the dangers of exposing private information or photos digitally.

After all, apps like Snapchat that automatically delete content after a certain amount of time have tended to gain their initial success among teens and other young people.

According to a study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health in June 2024, sexting doesn’t automatically affect the mental health of teens. However, the FBI reports around 20 sextortion-related suicides between October 2021 and March 2023.

The study goes on to explain how we must educate teens about safe and responsible sexting. But is there such a thing?

Regardless of the study, it’s clear teens and adolescents handle sexting differently depending on their environment and other variables we may never know.

Where teens fall short in their understanding of the legal ramifications of sexting

Simply stated, sending or receiving sexts involving people under 18 years of age can be illegal, depending on the laws where you live.

Beyond damaging victims’ online reputations, teens who send sexually explicit photos can be convicted of child pornography charges in some jurisdictions and have their names permanently placed on registered sex offender lists.

Many other sexting cases across the country have permanently harmed the prospects of otherwise normal teens.

This scenario is made worse by the fact that teens are highly likely to share the sexts they receive, with little regard to the electronic privacy of the sender.

Even if your child would never engage in sexting under normal circumstances, the temptation to forward unsolicited naked photos of a classmate, like the ones sent by the Florida teen above, can be hard to resist. It can also land your child in jail.

Educate your teen respectfully

You won’t stop your teens from sexting by adopting a stern, draconian attitude. And, unless you’re especially tech-savvy, they can outwit you technologically and they know it.

That means prevention is the best form of protection.

Show your children you understand the actual dangers and the pressures they face—that you can put yourself into their shoes. This can be an effective way to get them to listen to your message.

To start, sit down with your children in a non-confrontational, non-threatening environment.

Tell them you want to talk about digital privacy, and ask if they know if their peers engage in sexting. (Chances are good they do know—even if they don’t tell you about it.)

Next, explain that you understand why teens sext, but also emphasize the legal dangers.

Explain that if he or she receives a sext, they should under no circumstances distribute it because doing so might be a violation of child pornography laws.

If you have already found evidence that your child is sexting, consider participating in counseling through your teen’s school or with local law enforcement. An embarrassing slap on the wrist is better than a child pornography conviction.

Here’s a quick list of what to discuss and how to talk about sexting with your teen:

• Acknowledge normalcy: Recognize that exploring sexuality is a normal part of adolescence. Discuss both the pros and cons of sexting to provide a balanced view.

• Discuss privacy and consent: Emphasize the importance of privacy and consent. Teach them to establish clear expectations with anyone they communicate with and to respect others’ boundaries.

• Teach responsibility: Explain the responsibilities of both the sender and receiver. Make it clear that receiving explicit images comes with the responsibility to keep them private and not share them without consent.

• Talk about consequences: Discuss the potential legal, social, and emotional consequences of sexting. Explain that once you send an image, you lose control over it, and it can be difficult to remove from the internet.

• Encourage safer practices: Suggest taking suggestive rather than explicit photos and deleting any explicit images or messages to minimize risks.

• Empower to seek help: Encourage your teen to seek help if he or she feels pressured or coerced into sending explicit images. Let your child know he or she can come to you without fear of anger or judgment.

• Role-playing scenarios: Practice saying “no” and handling difficult situations through role-playing. This can help them feel more prepared to deal with real-life scenarios.

• Open communication: Maintain open, honest, and non-judgmental communication. Regularly check in with your teen about his or her online activities and feelings.

Adopt a healthy digital environment at home

Teens who engage in sexting often have other problems, ranging from abuse of drugs to unprotected sex.

The best way to cope with sexting is to maintain a healthy digital environment, where teens feel like part of a connected family.

For starters, ban smartphones at the dinner table or during other family activities. (Yes, that means your phone is banned too.)

Additionally, insist that phone chargers stay in the parent’s bedroom, where children won’t have access after bedtime.

This prevents the round-the-clock peer pressure caused by the dozens of text messages that the average American teen sends daily.

When it comes to sexting, the best form of privacy protection can be a lack of access.

If you continue to have problems, instigate routine monitoring at random times, when you and your teen sit down together to go through multimedia phone messages.

Stay away from your teen’s texts; only look at photos and videos. You want to show you respect your child’s privacy and that you’re only concerned with protecting him or her.

Also, allow the child to operate the phone during these sessions, though it’s a good idea to make sure you know how the phone works so that he or she can’t dupe you.

Knowing that their phone will be observed will help children stay on the straight and narrow. However, it’s also wise to give your child the chance to be a young adult. Don’t be overly strict. You don’t want to prevent your child from being open with you because you are too protective.

Sexting is yet another modern danger for parents to worry about, but if you adopt family-centric, respectful parenting techniques combined with education, you can rest assured that your child is likely to make the right choice.

A great place to start

If you are worried about your child’s reputation being damaged because of unfavorable photos or posts already on the internet, you should check their online reputation with our free reputation report card.

This resource shows you how others view your child online instantly and will give you a great starting point on what you need to focus on to protect their online reputation.